For Independent Cam Girls Maintaining Boundaries is an Integral Skill
For independent cam girls who are new to performing cam shows on yahoo and skype, establishing and maintaining boundaries is vital skill that will enable you to prevent frustration and maximize your earnings AND your enjoyment of the job. While learning how to establish boundaries is an important skill for all camgirls, for independent cam girls this is even more important simply because some of the coolest aspects of our work (the lack of stupid ‘no offsite contact’ rules, running our own cam shows, the ability to interact with our playmates and jump on skype for fun whenever and wherever we want without having to log into a webcam site) means that we tend to be available far more often than our cam girl peers who work the big box sites. That’s a great thing, but the ease of communication and the availability that being independent cam girls provides means that we have to establish and maintain personal boundaries that work for us, so that our cam work doesn’t interfer with other aspects of our lives or our emotional health.
How Independent Cam Girls Set Boundaries: Figure Out What’s Important To You
Personal boundaries will be different for each independent cam girl, depending upon the unique circumstances of our lives. For example, while I enjoy a chat between cam shows with my friends and playmates every now and then, I am not okay with people dropping by in the middle of the workday expecting to have an extended conversation with me. I work online, ergo when I’m online I’m working. My friends and playmates understand and respect that, and those that don’t…oh well :). I look at the matter this way, as much as my cam playmates enjoy my company, they would not be ok with me dropping by during their work day expecting their undivided attention, and it would be silly of me to expect that 🙂 The same holds true in reverse. All independent cam girls will have things that aren’t acceptable to them, so step one is simply a matter of deciding what you’re ok with and what you aren’t.
Another important set of boundaries to me is my limits on cam. I have a list of things I don’t feel comfortable doing on cam and I don’t let guys try to persuade me into doing something I don’t want to do. Those limits aren’t up for debate, and anyone who can’t take no for an answer isn’t the sort of person I want to spend time with, full stop.
As important as establishing boundaries is actually feeling comfortable discussing them. It’s not fair to get pissed at a guy for doing something you don’t like, if you don’t let him know what it is you don’t actually like. That goes for cam sex boundaries (what acts you’re into, what acts you won’t do), contact boundaries, how one handles shows that run overtime, everything. Part of being independent is creating your own rules, and independent cam girls need to feel comfortable expressing those rules, otherwise there’s not much point in having them. Always remember that our customers aren’t our adversaries, they want to have fun with us. It’s our job to tell them what WE need in order for the experience to be enjoyable.
Establishing Boundaries Will Not Impact Your Earnings
It seems some new independent cam girls worry that establishing boundaries will harm their ability to build a business. On the contrary, not establishing boundaries (or establishing them but not making those boundaries clear) is a recipe for misunderstandings, frustration on both sides and job dissatisfaction. Please never feel that as a camgirl you need to offer a specific act in order to be successful, or feel compelled to let guys walk all over you in order to build a base of regular playmates. Those cam girls (independent or otherwise) who do these things end up hating their work and their customers, it’s simply not worth it.
I’ve been an independent cam girl for 4 years now, and the vast majority of the independent webcam sex playmates I encounter are genuinely wicked guys who want a real person to have fun with. A real person has limits, boundaries, personal likes and dislikes, and I’ve never felt my income or my success has been hindered by the fact that I don’t do anal, accept paypal, offer watersports, etc. Another aspect in establishing independent cam girl boundaries is having confidence in your own personality and your ability to give a wicked cam sex experience, within your own terms. Building an independent cam girl business is a process that takes time, but the effort is worth it. After all, what’s the point of running your own business if you dread each interaction with your playmates because you let them walk all over you.
Maintaining Boundaries Need Not Be Adversarial
Like I wrote above, our playmates aren’t our adversaries. Don’t get stressed out explaining your boundaries and sticking to them, just approach discussions as if your boundaries are a natural and logical part of an independent cam sex interaction with you, because they are. We’re independent cam girls, we’re not bound by any rules other than our own comfort, our own peace of mind, and extending the same respect to the guys with whom we do cam shows.
In that sense, while boundaries are vital they aren’t such a big deal or all that complicated. They are simply what you’re ok with, and with what you aren’t. The great guys, the ones you WANT to have on your skype list will get that. Have confidence in your ability to give great shows on your own terms and you’ll do fine.
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