Do You and Eff the Noise: A Camgirl Mantra

 

camgirl in blue tank top and jeans

While every skype camgirl needs to keep on top of events in her niche as they unfold, there’s such a thing as being too involved. πŸ™‚ Here I’ll be discussing the policing of others through what I simply term ‘the noise’ and I’ll be adding my view on why this sort of micromanaging is a total waste of time.

What is the Noise: Camgirl Distractions

Simply put, I characterize ‘the noise’ as paying far too much attention to what other cam girls do, say and charge, and I really believe that in order to achieve your peak level of camgirl success you need to avoid that kind of distraction. This noise is a risk for all types of camgirls but I think independent camgirls can be much more negatively impacted by these distractions because we occupy a smaller niche than our peers who work the ‘big box’ cam sites, and we often share customers in common due to the smaller pool of playmates who choose skype cam sex shows (although happily this pool is growing rapidly, to all our benefit) πŸ™‚ We know our peers in this niche, we visit each other’s sites and we stay on top of changes as they occur in our little niche of the cam sex world, and the reality is it’s impossible to be successful while not paying attention to changes as they unfold. That said, being over-involved in the choices of others is self-defeating and distracts from the goal of building strong and independent camgirl businesses.

Staying attuned to the industry is far different than obsessing over the actions of our peers. Every day I read and hear independent camgirls complain about the rates charged by others and the types of shows offered by others and I think this is type of mentality is a total waste of focus and energy. Yes, we’re all ultimately competitors in this niche, but the singular actions of another camgirl can never hurt your bottom line or your business. Below I’ll be outlining and rebutting some of the main ‘noise’ complaints I come across.

Camgirls Who Charge Less are Ruining My Business!

Deep breath sister, no they’re not. Here’s why: men who visit independent camgirls are seeking unique and personalized skype cam sex experiences, if all they wanted was a lowest cost option they’s be on a free tube site watching videos, not messaging you. Cam show cost is not the determining factor for most cam sex customers, they simply want to have a wicked time with a camgirl who shares their vibe and interests.

While as a group we do collectively set the tone for average rates in our niche, for most guys rates aren’t the primary concern: finding the perfects camgirl (or camgirls) for them is. Truth is, even the guys who are ‘bargain hunters’ quickly realize that girls who charge far below average tend to give their shows less than their all, but most guys they simply want a camgirl they click with, a camgirl they know will do their best to make a cam sex show extraordinary. Charge whatever you need to make doing skype cam shows worthwhile and the guys who want what you offer will come.

Cam Girls Who Do Extreme Acts are Taking My Customers: I Can’t Compete With That!

Speaking as an independent camgirl who isn’t comfortable with extreme acts, my reply would simply be this: don’t compete. The types of shows desired by our playmates are as varied and expansive as our customer base itself: not every guy is looking for double anal while squirting and spinning a top. πŸ™‚ If you don’t want to perform extreme acts, carve out a unique niche for yourself and rock it.

I’m trying to be careful about how I word this section, because I don’t want to suggest that there’s anything wrong with camgirls who perform extreme acts or the customers who enjoy them. Truth is there isn’t anything wrong with extreme: it’s simply a matter of personal boundaries and personalized tastes. All I’m saying is that there’s no need to feel threatened by girls who do extreme cam shows, they’ve simply chosen a niche that works for them. There’s no real reason why any camgirl needs to follow ANY particular path in order to achieve success, so choose another niche and excel within it. Do your own thing amazing well and the guys will come. Even better, they’ll revisit you. πŸ™‚

I’m a pretty staid camgirl when it comes to extreme shows…hell, I don’t even do anal, but I’ve never felt that my choices have hindered my earnings. This is because I’ve focused upon other aspects of cam sex that I do enjoy and I’ve tried hard to cultivate my skills in my chosen niches. For real, getting all upset over a camgirl who chooses to perform a different style of cam sex than oneself is about as logical as getting irked by camgirls who speak another language. Not every camgirl will appeal to every customer, so make sure you do your best to stand out in your niche by giving your shows 100% every time you turn on your cam.

That Camgirl Said Something Awful on Twitter

Ahhh, the twitter wars. As I’ve talked about before I’m doing my best to use twitter even though I hate it, and I’m constantly amazed by how many people seem to enjoy fighting with strangers online. This is the worst type of time wasting, AND advertising, as every camgirl who engages in social media fighting is essentially broadcasting to the world that she has way too much time on her hands. Camgirls who are successful and busy don’t have time for this sort of thing. Even worse, the only people who would be interested in this type of drama are those who are equally bored, and those people aren’t customers. In reality, our playmates visit us to get away from discord and drama; they seek escape, not the burden of immature scuffles. Fighting on the internet is not smart or hot; rather it alienates real customers and attracts bored cellar dwellers who will never book a show but hang around for the cat fight. Walk away and be the better person, it isn’t worth damaging your image or your peace of mind over nonsense.

Why Is ‘The Noise’ So Damaging?

I look at the matter this way: as an independent camgirl I’m responsible for every aspect of my business. If I succeed it’s due to me. If I fail I’m responsible. Taking responsibility for our businesses is a vital mentality for all entrepreneurs, in that the alternative of focusing on perceived external barriers to success prevents us from focusing on what WE can do to alter and adapt to enhance our bottom line. Focusing on the behaviors of others detracts from us focusing on ourselves, and it negates the power we have to forge our own unique enterprises through our own unique ideas. Blaming others is the opposite of taking responsibility, and I’ve found that cam girls who rail against and police the actions of their peers tend to forget that they have a tremendous amount of agency in determining the success or failure of their business.

In sum, ‘the noise’ is a toxic element involving the overpolicing of peers, and every camgirl focused upon building a successful business needs to avoid it. Do your own thing, do it exceedingly well and you’ll find that the actions/behaviours of your peers that you find objectionable aren’t at all relevant to your business. Trust your work ethic, trust your skills and give this job 100% and you’ll succeed no matter who else is doing what. Do you and fuck the noise.

A Skype Cam Boy in Training

naked girl performing a skype cam showTurning the Tables During Skype Cam Sex

One of the reasons I have way too much fucking fun with my skype cam shows is that my partners and I share much in common, beyond just being fun people. For example, I love to be in control, and many of my playmates LOVE to be controlled. Not by just anyone mind you….they love to be controlled by me. πŸ™‚

Often I’ve thought about really turning out one of my playmates, not just in fantasy but actually having him perform real cam shows FOR me, for other men, but I’m a perfectionist. I’m a successful camgirl and if I may say it I kick ass at what I do. There’s no way on hell I could have a guy running around out there on the web under my tutelage, giving half-assed shows of inferior quality. As such, to fulfill this fantasy of turning out a playmate and transforming him into a professional camboy I need a playmate dedicated to his role, a man I can mold into the ultimate skype cam boy. Enter BD (my as yet to be properly-named skype cam boy in training). He’s bright, fun, eager to please and he knows how to rock purple panties.

A Skype Cam Boy is Born

BD has spent hours memorizing scripts for roleplays ranging from SPH and cuckolding to lollipop and muscle fetish by studying my fetish videos, and together we’ve purchased him, well….more sex toys than I can count. During our last shopping excursion during a skype session I picked out a pair of leather crotchless panties (named ‘cyclops’, hahaha) and a rubber chastity cage. He had to beg me to get new panties. All these will go well with his collar, stockings and extensive collection of dildos, vibrators and wands. πŸ™‚ Check him out below in full Jesse-mode.

skype cam boy in collar and stockings

In truth, beyond being a fucking delightful human being I think BD will actually make a killer skype cam boy when I’m finally ready to turn him out. I’ll receive the earnings, of course, and he’ll receive the joy of serving and entertaining me. He knows how to put on a good show and he’s got all the gear, but most importantly he’s got the attitude. He gets that laughter is as integral to wicked cam sex as are the actual orgasms, and he’s not afraid to totally dive into a role for the purpose of fun, one of the highest callings there is, I think πŸ™‚

My skype cam boy to be is nervous but excited. I think it’s gonna be insanely fun.

skype cam show snapshot of sexy mean camgirl

I’m in control so don’t fuck it up.

Holy fuck I love my job.

The Evil Maid: Cam Show Roleplay

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The Cleaning Staff Knows All Your Secrets πŸ™‚

I love it when cam show roleplay ideas kinda fall on top of me. I was cleaning out my closets the other day and I stumbled upon a little ‘slutty maid’ style outfit I’d completely forgotten that I own, hidden as it was under about a zillion pairs of black lace panties that came cascading down upon me as I tipped over a box on a high shelf. The perils of monochromatic lingerie and gravity πŸ™‚ Β Anyways, I tried it on and discovered that I still rock it, so I’ve been incorporating it into a lot of the skype cam show roleplays that I’ve been getting into recently. I get like that sometimes…I’m inspired by a theme or idea and run with it until I get bored and move on to something new.

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Anyways, during on recent cam show roleplay I got into it deep…we started off with me as a subservient and slutty little servant who is treated like a little sex toy until, shock of shock, I stumble across my employer’s panty collection. Look who has the power now? πŸ™‚ My playmate (no pics of him here, he’s shy) modelled several pairs of his own panties for me as I teased him with my pearl g-string panties ( barely hidden under the hem of my uber-short dress) and mocked him in, well, every evil way I could think of. He was on his knees, begging me to keep his secrets as I laughed and humiliated him. It was awesome πŸ™‚

I love cam show roleplay that doesn’t just involve Dom/sub, but that also involve elements of power exchange as the roleplay progresses. I get a huge thrill out of the tables being turned as I take control, and I love taking cam show journeys with guys who are playful enough to let things unfold as they may. Normally I’m a little bummed when a guy who wants to be profiled here is too shy to pose for pics but to tell the truth we were so into the vibe of our cam show I think it would detracted from the mood if we’d stopped to take pics. I figured y’all would enjoy seeing some of mine anyways, so I’ll simply end with this: Davide, put on your pink lace panties and double my salary. Now πŸ˜€

cam show roleplay as evil sexy maid

How to Find Real Skype Camgirls

 
tanned camgirls on webcam

Skype Camgirls Are Becoming Big Business

The fact that skype camgirls are becoming increasingly popular is a great thing, it’s what I’ve always hoped would happen in this niche, but along with the good comes a downside. While most of the skype camgirls you’ll find online are legitimate, real independent camgirls running our cam shows and cam sex businesses, as the niche becomes more popular so arrive the bottom feeders searching for a quick buck.

As the niche grows beyond a small handful of dedicated performers, as an independent cam show customer you may be wondering how to avoid scammers and low quality shows and get the real, authentic and intense interactions you’re seeking. To that end, here I’ll be delving into what to look for and what to avoid when searching for independent camgirls to play with.

Real Independent Skype Camgirls Have Websites

As independent skype camgirls our websites are our ‘home’ on the web, without our websites we can’t provide sustainable payment processing or promote ourselves effectively. In short, an independent camgirl without a website (even a bad-ass tumblr can qualify as a website), isn’t going to have much luck. The fakes that aren’t in this for the long term, and thus don’t care about gaining a following or a reputation as scammers, tend not to have websites or do link exchanges with fellow independent camgirls. They’re out of the loop, operating on the sidelines scamming guys wherever they can.

Check out the websites or blogs of potential independent skype camgirls you’re interested in getting to know better…do they have pictures that look real (rather than a bunch of ambiguous self-shots that could have been lifted off Chive), do they have a link to a youtube preview video, a blog that contains more than ‘mmmm I’m so horny bb’ and cam show information, do they appear on any content (camgirl videos) sites or listing directories? Real independent camgirls put ourselves into our work and we’re all over the internet as real people rather than just a website name. As such, a quick check of an independent camgirl’s website or tumblr should give you a pretty good idea of whether she’s the real thing.

Payment Processing

I know I’ve written about this a million times, but the easiest way to tell if an independent camgirl is legit is to check out her processing options. Does she offer Western Union or paypal? If so, be wary. Not every girl who uses paypal is a fake but all the fakes use paypal. It’s exactly the same as the rectangle/square concept (and you never thought grade one math would come in handy, ha!). That applies to independent skype camgirl listing directories as well…sites that offer paypal as a payment option are unprofessional and best avoided. Since these sites don’t plan to be around for long, you can’t really trust that you’ll get the quality cam shows you pay for. On the listing directory tip, check to see if the site performs verifications of the skype camgirls who list there. Most do but there are a few that don’t, and surprise surprise the known fakes tend to congregate there.

Chat Bots

Another form of fake camgirls that has been around for years is the chat bot. These crack me up, even as a camgirl myself I get messages from fake girls on skype (they always have inane names like ‘tiffanysquirtt4u’ or some shit) πŸ™‚ telling me they just got out of the shower and are dying to play. Yeah, sure you are. πŸ˜€ No real independent camgirl will troll skype messaging guys randomly, so if you get hit up by some random stranger chances are they aren’t a real camgirl. Rather, these chat bots are usually controlled by affiliates who try to get guys to sign up to cam sites through their referral links. I mention this type of fake mostly cuz they amuse me with their over-the-top chat messages. Luckily, they are so transparent I doubt anyone with three working brain cells would ever fall for their game, but there it is. If you hear from tiffany send her my regards πŸ˜€

So yeah, I think it’s an absolutely amazing thing that independent skype camgirls are becoming more popular, despite the inevitable hangers-on that want to scam and make a quick buck, not caring how their actions impact upon the rest of us . Ultimately the broadening of the niche benefits us all, y’all who get to discover how awesome we are and we independent camgirls who gain exposure to new playmates we wouldn’t have met otherwise. Luckily, the people who want to scam burn out quickly and they can’t replicate the real web presence of the real camgirls who are invested in this niche.

If you’re ever in the mood to play when I’m not around, check out the little skype camgirl directory I run. All the camgirls listed there are real camgirls on skype who are here to stay, and we’re simply the best at what we do πŸ™‚

How to be Taken Seriously When Seeking Skype Domination

skype domination webcam snapshot

Notes on Submissives Seeking Skype Domination Cam Shows

First off, some full disclosure here. I’m not a lifestyle Domme in that I don’t participate in off-cam BDSM activities, fetish sex of all kinds is something I sort of ‘grew into’ for lack of a better word, during my years exploring sexuality on skype and yahoo. Probably my perspective on fetish skype sex is best summed up here, in that I don’t follow formulas and strictures, and I don’t involve myself in anything hard core that could end up with someone being physically harmed. That stuff I’ll leave to the professional Dommes who hold far more experience than I. For me fetish sex is about exploration on both sides, and I really believe that skype shows are the perfect venue for exploring desires that many aren’t comfortable partaking in ‘in real life’. That said, fetish skype sex of all types has become an increasingly dominant (see what I did there?) πŸ™‚ Β theme in my skype cam shows, and I’ve noticed some particular patterns that I feel warrant a post here on my skype sex blog.

What is Domination?

Skype domination involves me, or rather my alter ego Lady J, taking possession of your mind, your thoughts, your actions….even what you crave is given over to me to bend and twist according to my whims. Sometimes domination takes physical forms (such as CBT and flogging) but while I’m a huge fan of spanking and wielding my strap-on for forced bi shows I’m much more fascinated and entertained by the mental facets of skype domination. Since my entertainment is the first and only priority during domination cam sex, the mental and verbal is always at the forefront of my style of Domination.

Β How to Be Taken Seriously When Seeking Skype Domination

Granted, I tend to be more of a workaholic type A personality than your average human being and I’ve turned ignoring annoying people in general into a precise art, but I tend to immediately ignore any professed sub who messages me on yahoo by addressing me as ‘Goddess’. Why, you ask? I ignore these people because to me it’s a huge warning sign that the dude is simply looking for some free text chat to get off on his fantasy, and it also demonstrates to me that the person really isn’t all that interested in a unique and memorable change between two human beings. Goddess is a fairly generic term…Skype Dommes who use the name ‘Goddess’ do so as part of their persona, making that term unique and special to them. Stripped of any attached identity the term Goddess means nothing to me or to the guy who uses the term, and besides, dudes need to pay to earn the privilege of calling me my Domme name of choice.

That brings me to my next point…another ban-worthy offense is expecting to get into specific details of what the indivdual seeks in a skype domination show before he even books one. Part of domination, actually, part of being a decent human being is respecting the time of others. I know throughout the years I’ve banned some probably great dudes simply because they didn’t understand that fantasy chat isn’t free and I didn’t feel like stopping what I was doing to explain that simple policy to ’em πŸ™‚ The way I look at it, before we enter into a skype domination arrangement you’re not my sub, so don’t call me Goddess.

Granted, these rules are mine, but the prinicple behind them can pretty much be applied universally. As a skype camgirl OR a skype Dominatrix I’m not paid to get naked, I’m paid for my time and undivided attention, and expecting to get that without paying for it just isn’t on, ever. If you’re serious about wanting a skype domination show, contact me, give me a general idea of what you seek (please not I’m not interested in Financial Domination so you’ll have to seek elsewhere for that) and then pull out your credit card. After those formalities are over with we can get on to the good stuff, which is exploring what I want to do to you on cam and then having my way with you, preferably in cam to cam πŸ™‚

I was compelled to write this because in this past week alone I’ve banned several dudes simply because they messaged me with some inane variation of ‘o Goddess let me serve you’. Yawn πŸ™‚ They make me even more grateful for my real playmates who share experiences with me, instead of seeking a warm body to fill a pre-determined ‘slot’. I’ve never filled pre-conceived slots very well, I think that’s a good thing πŸ™‚